The Bottom Rail by verbal shredwright

Judgment versus Understanding

Everyone believes they are a good person, especially bad people. Lets face it everyday it happens without you even noticing. You call someone a name… mention that you don't like so and so… or perhaps even worse… you gossip or assume. Don't feel bad. The first step to the better you is realizing you do it. Then you can work on it. Let's be real… not many people are willing to admit they could be a better person. Its easy to fall into the complacency of believing "I'm a good person" and therefore I am entitled to judge others. Nobody is perfect and there is always room for improvement. That's why you need to check yourself if you really believe you are a good person.

It's easy to judge people. Where do you live? What do you do for work? What kind of car do you drive? Or maybe it's your age, hairstyle or simply being different. These are some of the ways human beings judge each other. And why not? Judging other people is easy. See them at their worst moment… they must be a bad person, right? Of course you wouldn't want people to think the same of you at your worst moment, right? Obviously not… so why do it to others? Especially those who are suffering the most. After all most people are good people, unfortunately bad things happen to good people and that can change them. We seem to lose sight of that… so count your blessings.

Judging people is quick and easy. You can pass a snap judgment in seconds and repeat it or post it without a second thought. You don't care about the how or the why behind someone else's story. You just want to make assumptions and judgments without any of the facts or context. I'm sure that’s exactly how you would want to be treated if you were in their position too! Lets face it understanding people takes patience, compassion and the ability to understand good hearts will sometimes be left with few or no options except for unconstructive methods. What would you do faced with the same choices? But, of course it's much easier to judge others than it is to understand them, especially since each person is unique and so is their story.

Don't fool yourself. Talking to someone briefly at a bar or over-hearing gossip about them from your so called friends isn't getting to know them. Beware of the friends who gossip… you should be wondering what assumptions they make and repeat about you behind your back. Also be on the look out for those claiming to be "empathic" who call others negative and toxic as excuses to exclude or mistreat others. Exclusion is the number one form of bullying, and it begins by labeling people who are different as negative, toxic or bad people. True empaths pay attention and take the time to understand people and their circumstances. Lazy narcissists make snap judgments because they don't want to be around people who have a more painful or difficult life. This is because they are selfish and need all the attention to be focused on them and their problems.

If you don’t understand… and don't want to take the time to understand… then perhaps you should consider not saying anything about someone else until you have walked a mile in their shoes. It is sad that you would make someone in a bad situation feel even worse. And maybe if you don't have all the facts you should keep your mouth shut… remember the expression if you don't have something nice to say… don’t say anything at all. Just because you are wealthy, healthy or popular doesn't make you a better person than those less fortunate. So stop talking about being a good a person and start being a better person… everyone has room for improvement… everyone!

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